The Wolf Pack
by Carmelroads
Summary: What happened at Christian's bachelor party? One-shot


"You guys might not know this, but Christian is a bit of a loner. He tends to think of himself as a one-man wolf pack. But little did he know that when my mother brought him home twenty-four years ago, that wolf pack, it grew by one. So there… there was two of us in the wolf pack. Christian was alone first in the pack and I joined in later. And 2 months ago, when Christian introduced me to you guys I thought "wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, we just added two more guys to our wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around Seattle, looking for strippers and cocaine."

"You are not Bradley Cooper, and this isn't The Hangover," I say as I roll my eyes at my dickhead brother.

"First of all little brother, Bradley Cooper didn't say that, Zach Gilipha... Giliphanass or however the fuck you say his name did. And secondly, I'm surprised you even know what _The Hangover_is."

I swear if it wasn't the night before my wedding, I would knock him flat on his ass and demand that the limo driver take me home. Alas, it _is_the night before my wedding and despite my greatest efforts to blow this entire fucking thing off, here I am. So instead I reply, "Ana likes those movies."

"I knew I liked that girl. Slowly but surely she is going to completely remove that stick from your ass."

I give him a condensing smile and growl, "Fuck off, Elliott."

Flashing me that shit-eating grin of his, he turns to Ethan and Jose and continues on with his _Hangover_homage, " To my little brother, on his last night as a single man, tonight we are gonna get fucked up!"

"Elliott, you know..." I begin

"Just take the fucking shot." He reprimands. "Cheers!"

xxxx

As we ride from the rehearsal dinner at Bellevue to wherever it is that we are going, I idly wonder if it would negatively affect the wedding if I killed my Best Man. Then again if I did kill Elliott, I would also have to off the douche that's fucking my sister, and the bastard that tried to rape my bride-to-be. Maybe Taylor can make it look like an accident.

Before I can execute my homicidal musings the limo comes to a stop in front of The Mayflower Park Hotel. I look to Elliott and he confirms this is in fact our destination.

"Yeah, I figured we could start the night at Oliver's Lounge since I know you've been here before, and despite what you think, I do want you to have fun tonight," he explains.

Oliver's Lounge is situated inside of the Mayflower Park Hotel. It is a perfect place to have a working lunch, with its floor to ceiling windows and vintage charm. It's one of those places you could imagine Fred Astaire frequenting in his prime. But the real reason I am happy to be here tonight is because it is situated exactly two minutes from my penthouse.

"Don't even think about it little brother," Elliott says to me as he scoots out of the limo behind Ethan. "This is just the first stop on our three leg tour of Seattle. So there will be no escaping to your Ivory Tower."

There is no fucking way I'm making it through all 3 stops without doing bodily harm to my big brother. "What? Do you really think so little of me, that I would try to escape from my own bachelor party?" I say with mock indignation.

"I know YOU think that little of _us_," Elliott replies dryly.

Dick_. Ok Grey, suck it up. He's trying to make this a special night for you, just let him._  
I let out a long sigh and play along with this whole _Hangover _thing. "Hey Jose."

"Yeah?" he answers weakly. He wants to be here about as much as I do.

"Do you know when the next Haley's comet is? I ask.

Ethan, Elliot and Jose all look at me momentarily in shock, and then erupt in laughter.

Ok, maybe this night won't be so bad after all.

xxxxx

The four of us wolves walk into Oliver's, and make our way to the bar. I've never been here this late before, and the clientele seems to be a more touristy than the normal lunch crowd. The bar itself runs the length of the back wall and is a rich mahogany color with a granite tabletop. To the right of the bar are floor to ceiling windows which allow you to see everything that is going on in the streets of downtown Seattle. Jazz music is playing softly in the background. It's loud enough to fill any awkward silence, but low enough to still hold a conversation.

I grab the very last stool closest to the windows in an effort to avoid small talk with Sister-Fucker and Junior Rapist. Elliot sits to my left, effectively separating us.

"What can I get for you gentlemen this evening?" our waiter asks. He looks to be around his mid-fifties, average height and slightly overweight. His salt and pepper hair is slicked back and his white oxford is neatly tucked and pressed under his black vest.

"I'll have a Hendricks..." I start, but am immediately cut off by my brother.

"We'll have eight shots of tequila to start with, Patron if you have it, Cuervo if you don't," Elliot tells the man.

"I'm not taking shots of tequila like some limp-dick frat boy. No offense Kavanagh." I say as I look to Ethan and quirk my brow waiting for his response.

"None taken." He says "I wasn't in a fraternity in school. I rushed but they said my dick was too big." He shrugs, trying not to laugh and failing miserably.

Touché, dickhead. Touché.

"Listen, we all know I have the biggest dick of the four of us," Elliot exclaims, interrupting the pissing contest between me and Ethan. "My dick is so big that it votes. So, me and my dick vote for tequila. David, is it?" The bartender nods in response. "We'll take eight shots of tequila and four beers. Whatever you have on tap is fine."

"Elliot, I don't want any fucking shots and I'm sure as hell not drinking cheap fucking beer."

"Thanks David, and keep the tequila coming." Elliot says to the waiter, effectively ignoring me. David turns and is off to fill our order.

I'm going to kill my fucking brother.

"Elliot," I say through clenched teeth. "I am not taking shots."

"Look Christian, please just for tonight, act your age." Elliot pleads

"Why does acting my age have to include getting shit-faced in a bar with my brother and two douche bags that eye fuck my future wife every time they are in a two-mile radius of her?" I say raking my fingers through my hair.

Elliot glances over his shoulder to check if Prick One and Prick Two heard me. Unfortunately they are deep in a conversation about the Mariners. "Because Christian, this is your bachelor party, and I am your big brother. We never really get to spend any time together and now you are getting married. Don't get me wrong, I love Ana and the change she has inspired in you has been amazing, but you are _my_brother, and before I lose you to a wife, kids and a white picket fence I want to get one last chance to do this kind of stuff with you. Ok?"

Great Grey, when will you stop disappointing him? "Ok Lelliott, we can do this your way tonight, and FYI I have the biggest dick of the four of us… my dick is so big, it has its own dick. And even my dick's dick is bigger than your dick," I say, smiling at my big brother.

Xxxxx

"Toniiiiiiiiiiiight We are yoooooounnnnng. Gonna set the world on fiiiiiire. We can burn briiiighter then the suuuuuuuun!" We all sing in unison as the limo takes us to our next destination.

"Shhhhhhhh. Guys! Shush." I yell over the song blasting cheerfully through the speakers.

"Dude, chill. What?" Jose responds, turning down the music, but not by much.

"I fucking love you guys."

"Okay little brother, I think it's safe to say you are officially drunk." Elliott laughs at me.

"I am not drrrunk. I. ugh," I clear my throat to compose my thoughts_. Fuck! Am I drunk? No that isn't right. I can't be. I only had, five or six shots of Patron and two beers. How long were we even at The Oliver…_

"Earth to Christian." Elliott snaps his fingers in my face, forcing me to focus.

"Okay. I miiiight be a little buzzed," I admit, "but what I'm trying to say is, I'm having a good-good time. Ha, double good. Even with Jose and Ethan here."

"I was too until you started acting like a dick ." Ethan mutters.

"I mean, look Kavanagh… it's no secret that your spank bank is filled with pictures of _MY_ Ana. And Jose, the second time I met you, you were trying to stick you tongue down her throat." He winces but lets me finish. "And trust me, it took every ounce of self control I have not to rip your prick off and force it down your throat."

"Are you going somewhere with this, bro?"

"All I'm trying to say is that I don't want to kill you guys anymore."

Before I have a chance to continue, the driver parks the limo and comes around to open the door for us.

"Thank fuck!" Ethan hollers, rushing out the door.

I stumble out of the limo and sober up almost instantly when I see the bright pink neon sign that says Déjà Vu Showgirls. Underneath, there is a black LED screen that reads in big bright white lights, "Wearing Nothing but a Smile."

"Fuck this, Elliot." I clench my jaw. "I said NO STRIPPERS." It was my only fucking request. I don't need some gold-digging tweeker, trying to convince me that she's only dancing to pay her way through night school, rubbing her dirty snatch all over my Armani jeans.

"Actually C, your exact words were 'Elliott, if we end up in some grimy motel room filled with half-naked women with edible names, I'm out.' Elliot reminds me.

"Edible names?" Jose interrupts.

"You know, like Candy or Cherry or Honey or some shit like that," I explain, dragging my fingers through my hair.

"Listen Christian, just trust me. I'm not going to hold you down and force you to get a lap dance, you've been having fun thus far… so just relax. You're killing my buzz."

"Ok Elliott, but if this shit ends up in the _Seattle Nooz, _I will end your fucking life."

"It won't. Now let's go look at some boobies."

Xxxxx

Walking into Déjà Vu is like walking into a parallel universe, the seedy kind. Time stops in here. The main stage is in the center of the room and there are purple lights hovering above it. There are several tables surrounding the stage and the club looks to be close to capacity. The bar is cast in a red hue, and my dick twitches as I imagine Ana in my playroom stripping for me. Maybe I should have a stripper pole installed…

"I got a table in VIP," Elliott yells over to us interrupting my daydream. We follow him to the opposite side of the room where he greets the bouncer. "Hey Steve, this is my brother Christian, he's the one getting married tomorrow." I nod my head at the pro-wrestling wannabe. The man-beast stands about 6'1 and roughly 250 pounds of muscle. He sports black pants and a black t-shirt with 'SECURITY' written on the front in white letters, and the club's logo on the back. "This is Ethan," Elliott continues, "my girl's brother, and our friend, Jose."

Steve leads us up the stairs into the VIP area. Once we're seated, he explains what to expect for the rest of the night. "I know Elliott's been here before so I won't go over all the club rules in detail, but the most important thing to remember is DO NOT TOUCH THE GIRLS. Your waitress, Erika, will be over shortly to take your drink orders. She will be your go-to for anything you guys need tonight, so don't worry about fighting the crowd at the bar, just ask her and she will get it for you. Elliott said he didn't want strippers to come into VIP but if that changes let Erika know and she can arrange it. Other than that, feel free to grab an open table on the main floor, and enjoy the show." And with that Steve leaves us to ourselves.

A cute black girl in her mid 20's struts over to our table. She wears the same uniform as Steve, only her tank is cropped just above her navel and the front is plain. As soon as she reaches the table, Jose's eyes widen in appreciation and he sits up a little straighter. She smiles and takes our order.

"Damn, she's sex!" Jose slurs after she's gone. "I haven't been to a strip club since I went to visit my family in Mexico City two summers ago. Nobody in that place was even half as sexy as she is. They took me to this dirty little hole in the wall place, called _El Desnudo," _ he shudders at the memory.

"Was it a fucking donkey show?" Elliott asks a little too excitedly.

"No dude, I don't think those are real. Anyways, there was this one stripper and she had to be at least 50 years old and not in a MILF way either, she did the most incredible and most disturbing thing I'd ever seen!" he exclaims. "She had this glass cup set up on an old wooden chair. Then she laid on her back in front of the chair and stuck a ping pong ball inside of her you-know-what. Once the ball was in place, she grunted and the ball shot out and flew into the cup!"

"That is pretty fucking incredible, but what's so disturbing about it?" I ask, confused.

"Next she asked for a volunteer."

"NO FUCKING WAY!" Elliot interjects.

"So the volunteer sits in the chair, while she reloads and gets into position and then she grunts and the ping pong ball flies into this guys mouth!"

"EWWWWWWWWWW." We say in unison.

"You're right, that's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard… and I'm a psych major." Ethan states.

xxxx

Once the waitress comes back with our drinks Elliot suggests we go down to the main floor. "Hey El, why didn't you want strippers up here?" Ethan asks.

"Because I know my little brother, and nothing would piss him off more than some silicon Barbie batting her eyelashes at him all night."

_Ok so I admit I under estimated Elliott tonight. _I flash my brother a smirk to show my appreciation. "If you guys want, we can have a couple up here. It's a mob down there, and there's no fucking way you will be able to get near the stage." _ See, gentlemen… I can be a team player. _

Twenty minutes and two shots later, our VIP lounge has turned into the life of the party. Erika arranged for three strippers to join us and they all resemble Pamela Anderson in different stages of her career, wearing nothing but black boy shorts with Déjà vu written on the butt and clear plastic platform heels. Ethan and Elliott are in the throes of their lap dances while Jose has snuck away to chat up the waitress. The third stripper, the oldest, most sloppy version of Pam is trying to convince me to let her give me a lap dance.

"Look I really appreciate the offer, but no." I say for the tenth time.

"Come on honey, I don't bite. Plus you're sitting over he all alone while your boys have all the fun. I mean that's not fair, you are the groom."

"Exactly. I don't think my bride would be to please with me having some strange woman grinding on my dick, no offense."

"What she don't know won't hurt her. Plus, I've got a feeling you've got plenty of dick to share. We could go into a private room so I can investigate." She winks at me.

_Did she really just say that to me? I think I'm going to be sick._

"Once things for certain: If I get through this night without my panties bursting into flames, it's going to be a miracle."

_Time to go._

Xxxx

"She said what?" Ethan asks once we are back in the safety of the limo, on our way to the third and final stop of the evening.

"You heard me, panties bursting into flames." I grin at the ridiculousness of the last hour. "I blame you, you hadn't been chatting up the waitress, she would have been whispering sweet nothings in _your_ ear."

Jose smiles and says, "But if I was getting a lap dance I wouldn't have scored this." He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a napkin folded in two.

"Is that what I think it is?" Elliott asks.

"Yup, her number!" Jose seems awfully proud of himself.

"I didn't think you had it in you." Elliott remarks. "I mean fuck, I'm impressed."

"What do you mean, 'didn't have it in me?' I do have the biggest dick of out of the four of us. My dick's so big it has a spine."

We erupt in laughter as the limo stops again. I am almost afraid to look and see what Elliot has planned for us after the strip club. There is a knock on the window and Elliott opens the door to reveal an inebriated Kate. "What took you guys so long?" she slurs.

"I had to beat the strippers off of my little brother."

"What strippers?" I hear Ana's angelic voice above everything else. I all but knock Elliot and Kate over to get to my bride.

The limo is parked in an IHOP parking lot next to one of my black Audi Q7's. She's standing next to my sister wearing white skinny jeans and a white tank that has "Mrs. Grey" written on the front in a pink glittery script. Mia and Kate are wearing identical outfits only theirs are black, and their shirts say "Bridesmaid."

"God I've missed you." I whisper into Ana's hair as I pull her into my arms.

"It sounds like you've had plenty of half-naked women to keep you company," she scowls at me. I can tell she's hammered.

"Yeah, lot's of half-naked women, but not one single Ana." I say.

"Okay you love birds," Kate interrupts. "Let's go eat."

I throw my arm around my girl, and as we walk side by side into the diner, I silently thank God that I am no longer a lone wolf.

* * *

**A/N Big thank you to Wearejorus, the best fucking Beta ever. Also to my wife, Twifan999, for the awesome panty busting line.**


End file.
